3.5.11.3 Fay Murial Kinsley (Nee Arnold).

Born: 10 November 1936, at Ardrossan Hospital.

Died: 1 December 2011, at Ardrossan Hospital.

Buried: St. John’s Cemetery, South Kilkerran, S.A.

3.5.11.3 Fay Kinsley nee Arnold Life Story eulogy

Eulogy for Fay Muriel Kinsley nee Arnold Friday 9 December 2011

Read by her son and daughter Michael and Christine Gates.

St John’s Lutheran Church South Kilkerran

The circle of Mum’s life is poignantly completed today, here in St John’s Lutheran Church in South Killkerran. It is in this church that Fay, with her brothers and sisters, and parents Toni and Harold Arnold, travelled from Sandilands farm near Ardrossan, by horse and buggy, to attend the Sunday services.

It is in this church that her father Harold was baptised over 100 years ago and where her grandparents Pauline & August Arnold and their 10 children came from the Arnold family farm just north of Port Victoria, to Sunday services.

Between Fay’s birth at the Ardrossan hospital on the 10 November 1936 to her death last week Mum had a remarkable, diverse and full life. And today she will be buried in her final resting place in the company of many relatives. I remember wandering around the cemetery with my Nana, Toni Arnold, and being introduced to each of the family members.

Leaving the farm, Fay’s father Harold created a colourful reputation for himself in the railways and was known as 101, after a train he was particularly fond of. The railway life took the family of seven children to a number of small country stations including Taplan, Cookes Plains, Wirrega and finally Tailem Bend. Fay’s children have fond memories of Toni and Harold’s family home in Tailem Bend. Nana set up a tailoring business in the lounge room which was often swamped with bridal paraphernalia and the kids were scooted outside to run amuck with the chooks or rock the almond tree to collect fallen almonds. Mum learnt her sewing skills from her mother and credits her father with her love of gardening.

Mum was also a member of the unique 36’ers – no not the basketball team but those people lucky to be born in the centennial year of South Australia – 1936. All turn 75 years young this year and Mum enjoyed many celebratory events with the 36’ers over the years .

In 1978, when I was 23 years old, Mum took me to the Barossa Valley where I met three maiden aunts and a great uncle – and was amazed with her large extended family that she had always kept in touch with. The weekend inspired the Arnold Family Photo Album of Toni and Harold’s generation and some of you may like to look through the pages at morning tea. We also have Mum’s 75^th birthday gift of a photobook called ‘Fay A chequered Life in Colour’ and ask that you add your words on the blank pages as a final tribute to her life.

Now back to Mum’s story. Fay’s teenage years were in Tailem Bend where her first job was at the local bakery. At sixteen she was living with one of her aunts in the Barossa Valley and trained as a nurse at both Eudunda and Tailem Bend Hospitals.

At seventeen, Mum married Bob Gates and proceeded to have four children under the age of five by the time she celebrated her 21^st birthday. From the start Fay was a good organiser, sewing most of the children’s clothes, growing vegetables and creating wonderful family homes along the way. I say homes, as I can recall some 18 homes in 18 years – and Fay was known to have pack up one house with five children and move in 24 hours.

Bob was a policeman so the family moved to Wallaroo and Port Pirie before heading to Robe in the early 1960’s. Our brother, Robert was born when we lived in the police station in Robe. Mum & Dad still managed four or five moves within the town including one historical occasion, where the house itself was moved down the street – a great story that one! Maybe at morning tea.

Robe was a very special place for Mum. Here she formed many lifelong friendships including Marita Brockhoff and Lucy Sheridan. Lucy taught Mum the skills of managing a motel, and with Mum’s cooking skills, Lucy was able to finally take holidays and leave Fay in charge. This included the care of two very spoilt Labradors, Prince & Satan, who had their own doghouse – a mini coupe car and only ate the best cuts of meat. Caught on the hop one time Mum turned dog meat into a fabulous stew for guests.

Mum’s cooking and sewing skills significantly contributed to the annual school fetes and added greatly to their coffers. Generating money Robe was a very special place for Mum. Here she formed many lifelong friendships including Marita Brockhoff and Lucy Sheridan. Lucy taught Mum the skills of managing a motel, and with Mum’s cooking skills, Lucy was able to finally take holidays and leave Fay in charge. This included the care of two very spoilt Labradors, Prince & Satan, who had their own doghouse – a mini coupe car and only ate the best cuts of meat. Caught on the hop one time Mum turned dog meat into a fabulous stew for guests.

Mum’s cooking and sewing skills significantly contributed to the annual school fetes and added greatly to their coffers. Generating money through her own skills stayed with her for life. Fay also had a passion through her own skills stayed with her for life. Fay also had a passion and vision for the fledgling tourist industry in Robe and joined the local progress association. In addition, she was instrumental in stopping the dumping of town rubbish into the sea, which was a common practice in coastal towns in South Australia at the time.

Dad left the police force while in Robe and together they took on the council caravan park and turned it into a vibrant and profitable business. As kids we enjoyed the lifestyle of summer holidays, with a park full of kids, swimming at the beach in front of our home and scrambling amongst the cliffs and reefs at low tide.

Robe was also the place where Mum walked the beaches and sandhills for hours on end …often leaving kids way behind, to be picked up on her way back. Fay became a recognized shell collector and member of the Field Naturalist Society. She regularly led field trips for members as her knowledge of marine life and shells was extensive and all self-taught. Her shell collection was eventually housed in the Millicent Museum.

Up until her stroke in July, Mum could still outlast all her children and grandchildren on a beach walks. The sea and beaches have always been a place of peace, contentment and sustenance for Fay and her knowledge of the best beach spots on Yorke Peninsula was also extensive.

In 1969 Bob’s work finally took him and the family to Mt Gambier – I think another five moves in Mt Gambier- including an ex boarding house where all five children had their own room for the first and only time, and mushrooms grew in the lounge room. Mum wrote in her journal ‘My marriage ended in Mt Gambier with five children at school. My first job was taxi driving and working part time in Allan Scott’s Chickenland franchise. I was offered the job of managing Scotty’s Chickenlands in Portland, Millicent and two in Mt Gambier. He had to lift the business turnover for sale and that was my job. I then worked at Coles as the staff supervisor.’

During this time in Mt Gambier Fay saw her three daughters through some wild teenage years and her eldest son Michael off to the Army while the youngest son Robert continue his education.

Next move was to Adelaide. Mum writes’ I tried my hand at home party work but not my thing. Then gained employment in the Police Department traffic section organizing services – a very interesting job. Participated in establishing neighborhood watch, drew up the first list of ‘on the spot fines ‘– they have increased incredibly – and eventually Mapping Officer drawing up policing boundaries for the state. My most unforgettable experience in the Police Department was Ash Wednesday – I worked in the Emergency Operations Centre for three days. My job was to keep the Centre informed on maps and where the fires were and their progress. I also prepared maps for commanders for search areas as the fires were put out. I confiscated the prime minister’s plane to take maps to Mt Gambier.

During this time Fay married Peter Kinsley and they bought Chrystal Springs Farm, an old homestead with 200 acres of farmland just north of Eudunda. Mum writes: ‘With my second husband we renovated an old farmhouse at Eudunda, to run as a B&B and also opened to tourist buses for morning and afternoon teas plus group and wedding events including Julie’s (daughter) wedding. I developed a very large garden there and learned the value of succulent plants. With a great quarry I had all the materials for landscaping I could ever want.’

At the farm Mum planted 100’s of trees and shrubs as she revegetated sections of the farm area particularly around the dam. Now it is a sanctuary for the birdlife that has returned.

Many of you will know that Mum loved rural auctions and a bargain !! and with sheds aplenty at the farm, there appeared no limit to this interest. And oh what a job to re-sell all these bargains when she moved to Ardrossan.

The farm was also a place remembered by all her grandchildren. Here they enjoyed endless childhood adventures. The old donkey – who came with the farm – loved the endless stream of children. We particularly remember how the old thatched stable ruins set the scene for a great play, created by the grandchildren one evening – full of ghosts and eerie noises and one petrified cat. The farm was a child’s dream place – chaotic and fun during the mice plague, while the wellies came out for catching tad poles in winter and joyful jumping when rounding up sheep for shearing. The farm was another wonderful episode in Mum’s life.

From there Fay headed back to Ardrossan, the place of her birth. Here she writes’ I have almost completed the circle of my life – a wonderful journey.’

Here we have only two moves! She was slowing down at this stage of life!! Many of you are part of the story of Mum’s life during these past 15 years.

On her return to Ardrossan, Fay reconnected with her faith community, firstly the Anglicans and then her family Lutheran faith where she felt the strongest connection and found a supportive and caring community. Our family have been keenly aware of the strength and love of this church community during the past few months as we all grappled with the aftermath of her massive stroke.

I think her faith community here at St Johns will miss her biscuits almost as much as her children and grandchildren, although I think her tomato sauce holds top rank with a few of the grandchildren.

And now we come to the Stansbury summer markets. Mum once again used her amazing skills to become a foundation member at the Stansbury markets and I think has the record for most consistent attender at the markets over the past eight years.

Watching her load & unload her car had to be seen to be believed. She always had a table of succulent plants – and locals and visitors alike kept coming back as her plants always flourished. Fay generously shared her plant knowledge including how to care for each type of plant. On the second table was the Bric a brac – often glass wear – always sparkling in the sunshine. She was an amazing market operator, and could take up to $1200 in six hours, on her own!

Mum lived a full life in every sense of the word and said to us that she had lived the six score years and ten, so she was in the bonus stage of life. She had no fear of dying as she had been at the door for a glimpse before and kind of knew the drill. There is a beautiful life completeness here today, with Mum being here at South Kilkerran where she began her spiritual life journey and now will rest.